Two Heads are Better Than One        

Relationships are complicated, fragile things, when there is not open, mature communication.  Getting to this point is not an easy task as it takes putting your own ego and assumptions aside and really listening without judgement, without thinking of your response while the other party is talking and without feeling personally attacked.  I think that it’s important to address the roadblocks and obstacles in a life that is shared with another person when dedicating a blog to positive thinking.  None of us are perfect, and trying to work towards a positive outcome when someone else is involved can prove quite difficult.  But every one of us can improve and move towards a better state of mental health, we just have to be willing to put in the work.                        

Being complacent with things the way they are when you are not happy with them is a disease.  In order to find the problems in your life, first, they must be uncovered and put out in the open and second, they must be dealt with in a healthy manner. Oftentimes people allow themselves to fester in their own misery without speaking out.We’re all guilty of it at one time or another.We shove our negative feelings back down in order to avoid conflict. This is no way to live. A part of having a positive outlook on life is also dealing with less than appealing situations from a different perspective.

You have to be brave.

You have to have thick skin.

You have to avoid bringing yourself to the level of attacking and placing blame.

When two people rise above these superficial reactions and create a safe, open space for communication, positivity can reign.  But, it does take two willing participants in order for this to happen.  And, if the other party refuses to work on issues maturely, you must know when it’s time to move on. Moving on is one of the hardest things to do sometimes, but holding onto someone who doesn’t want the same positive change as you can be very toxic for everyone involved.  Even innocent bystanders such as children, friends and other family.

So, the next time you and your loved one don’t see eye to eye, try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.  If you need time to gather your thoughts, calmly say so.  If the other really wants a change, they will respect and appreciate that you want to dedicate time and headspace to the situation.  The blame is very rarely one sided.  Stepping back from a problem allows room to talk through whatever the issue may be, and to resolve it one way or another.  In doing this, both parties can either work towards a goal together, or go their separate ways peacefully if a resolution can’t be made.

This is all easier said than done.  But, repetition is key.  Maybe it won’t work every time.  Maybe you’ll lose your cool sometimes.  But the more you try, the more opportunities you allow for breakthroughs and victories in your relationship, where both people come out feeling lighter and appreciated.